Dirty Little Secrets


Dear Dharma,

I was at a conference with my boss, who I have known for a few years. I have always respected and thought of him as a friend and mentor. While at the conference, we were asked to put together a presentation. My boss had brought his laptop computer and we both worked on the presentation together. The presentation was complete, except for a bibliography so my boss asked me to complete it. Since we had used many online references and articles I went to the history folder to find them again so that I could record the specifics.

Much to my horror, there were many links to child porn sites: things like “barely teen” and “teeny tiny titties”. There were pages of these sites in the history folder and the list went back for months.  This is his personal computer and he has it with him at all times, so there is little chance it was someone else surfing these sites.

Now I can’t look him in the eye and I am not sure what to do! He is recently separated with joint custody of an 11 year old daughter and an 8 year old son. Even if he doesn’t do anything to his daughter she may have other young girls over for sleepovers or to swim in the family pool.

This situation obviously needs to be reported! Since I am the only witness, it will be my word against that of a well-liked and respected man. I doubt I will get access to his computer to take pictures for proof. Do you have any suggestions as to how I should proceed?


Dear Dis,

As the disclaimer says, this column is not a substitute for advice you would receive from a professional, so please contact the local authorities in your area who will give you much better advice on this topic than I can.

That being said, I couldn’t resist googling (apparently creepy boss couldn’t either) some options for you to take a look at and the best one I could find was cybertip!ca.  They are Canada’s tip line for reporting online sexual exploitation of children.  If you are not in Canada, I’m sure there are similar agencies where you are.

I wouldn’t worry about it being your word against his as cybertip can be done anonymously.  Sadly you aren’t the first person to find themselves in this position, so I think these types of agencies make it as easy to report as possible.

I’m sure you were sickened and disappointed to learn that someone you looked up to and respected had this in their closet, but now you can’t pretend it away.  It might seem daunting to go through the process, but once you get started, people who are skilled in this arena will be able to walk you through it.

No room for humor in this one… I hope this helps you with the first steps.



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  • Emanon says:

    OMG! I doubt that I would ever look at him the same either! This is a terrible situation to be in! My instinct would to be protective of the potential children at risk! What if my child was around this creep! It’s better to be over cautious with this subject rather than to find out later that something has happened when you could have possibly prevented it. I couldn’t live with myself knowing that I could have prevented a horrible and life changing event for innocent kids. The upside of the anonymous reporting is that you get to steer clear of the confrontation. The police are always searching for online predators and there are various ways that he could have come on to their radar. Also are pretty good at searching things out and finding out just how involved this person is. People don’t realize just how big of a foot print they leave when surfing the web! Let’s just hope that this guy just a creep that likes videos (not that that is great either) and that the children in his life are safe from harm!

  • suzy says:

    Omg I can’t believe that! AND he has children! Definitely report him!

  • Summer says:

    This needs to be reported…it’s very disturbing to happen upon this type of child exploitation but speaking from a horrible experience, these predators eventually act on their impulses…

Whether you agree with Dharma or think she missed the mark on this one, leave a Comment!

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