You’re a …Chubby Jellyfish?

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Dear Dharma,

I have been spending more and more time with a guy and know that he likes and respects me. Some even say he likes me more than a friend (nudge, nudge).

However, I have noticed something that I don’t know how to interpret. We recently went on a bike ride and were cut off by a rather portly woman. My guy cursed under his breath and muttered something like “chubby jellyfish” (translation from another language). He has made comments before about chunkier women.  You need to know that I am not exactly skinny and I am pretty sure he has eyed my curves.

What does it mean if he makes those comments towards voluptuous ladies while I am next to him, that he does not think I look like them? Or is he just being inconsiderate?

Not-So-Skinny-Minny

Dear Skinny,

After I chuckled a while over “chubby jellyfish”, I decided that my answer was yes.  To both questions.

My guess is that he really doesn’t see you as you see yourself.  So many cliches to choose from – love is blind, beauty and the beholder, blah blah blah.  If he did think of you as chubby I have to think he isn’t so daft as to say that out loud with you right there.  It’s like making a dumb blonde reference to a blonde, right?  You just wouldn’t…

I also do think that he’s a little inconsiderate – not directly to you in the way you are feeling it, but more to these voluptuous women he keeps snarking at.  What’s with that?  The woman who cut him off did so because she was rude or oblivious, not because she was big. If he wants to call her out, he should do so on the offending action, not her appearance.

If his comments have left you feeling weighted down, maybe it’s time you let him know.  It doesn’t have to be straight up confrontation, but how about a light, “Hey! That’s not nice!” the next time he shoots off his portly mouth.

Dharma

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