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Dear Dharma,

Recently I have been trying to purge some of the negative energy out of my “bubble” in order to regain some balance in my life. I have been mostly successful, except for one specific area.  I am a Facebook junkie and enjoy seeing all the funny and unique things my friends post. I love Facebook’s ability to keep us all connected even when we are on opposite sides of the country. What I don’t enjoy are the select few that seem to be miserable 99% of the time. I’m pretty sure when Mark Zuckerberg created Facebook he didn’t intend for it to be used to publicly whine, otherwise it would have been called Whinebook.  I find it draining when people air their dirty laundry or make vague or aggressive statuses purely to get comments.  If you’re miserable, keep it to yourself!  One negative comment can take away the enjoyment of a 100 positive posts.

My first instinct is to delete the Negative-Nancy’s from my friends list. For the majority of offenders I don’t even feel guilty for removing them.  There is one however, I am hesitant to do this with because there will be a backlash as they are a co-worker. I know that by deleting them, they will ask why.  And let’s face it; telling someone they are too negative probably isn’t going to be a comfortable conversation for either party.  I worry it will change our dynamic in the office. Is there a way to do this that will minimize the tension while still getting the results I need? HELP!

Positive-ish Polly

Dear Polly,

I agree that telling your “friend” they are harshing the zen zone you are trying to create will change the dynamic between the two of you, for sure, so let’s skip that route.

I think it’s great you are working on clearing some of the trash out of your life – we all need to do that every now and again.  However, I’m not sure you can pin the “one negative comment can take away the enjoyment of 100 positive posts” on this person – that’s kind of on you.  You’re letting 1% of something ruin the other 99%?

I just don’t think it’s realistic you can clear every single bit of negativity from your bubble and still live in the real world.  There’s always going to be some a$$hole out there, be it on Facebook, in the car next to you, or maybe even living in your basement. If you are consistently giving them the power to wreck your day maybe finding some ways to enhance your coping mechanisms would be helpful.  If this is just one person’s negativity, could you just scroll past them and focus on the positive and enjoyable updates?

No?  You don’t want to do that?  Okay fine. Luckily for you Mr. Zuckerberg foresaw you having this problem, and there’s an easy peasy solution.

Find a post from this person and use the drop down arrow within that post – select “Stop seeing posts but stay Friends” and BAM, just like that, problem solved.

Interesting that this is something we need, hey?  A function that says “I wanna be your “friend”, but I don’t wanna listen to you”…

Dharma

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2 Comments

  • Zark Muckerberg says:

    haha yeah right Facebook is full of funny and unique things…and the WangChung wonton house uses real chicken in their dumplings too.

    Sure the dancing cat is hilarious the first 17 times someone posted it, but come on, really? I would say slim down your Facebook a lot, and keep in touch with your good friends in person. Most facebook “friends” are passing aquaintances at best, and probably random strangers who found your business card where you dropped it trying to get the G&T out of your purse without spilling.
    My heart doesn’t need to be warmed, my eye doesn’t need a tear brought to it, and i prefer to laugh quietly to myself, so keep your pointless inane crap to yourself please! Actually I will take Dharma’s advice and ignore all posts from everyone!

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