Conscious Uncoupling


Dear Dharma,

I need some help with Facebook etiquette. My former best friend and I are no more.  I have deleted her and blocked her from FB as she stalked around and caused unnecessary trouble if I enjoyed my life and she didn’t.

A couple of people that I am friends with through her are still my FB friends but I don’t want to keep them as they are more loyal to her and probably report on my life.

They have done nothing to anger me (yet) so should I just axe them or send them an explanation before I do that? It seems more polite? Also, I could throw in there why I am not friends with my former bestie anymore and set the record straight because she might have told them complete BS.


Not Booking her Face Anymore

Dear Face,

If the only link you have with these people is your former best friend, then I say go ahead and remove them, but know in doing so you will end up giving her a certain amount of satisfaction.  Personally I would let them remove me – with nothing else in common, for sure this will happen over time and you come across the better person.

And unless you’re a Kardashian, I’m also pretty sure that that any level of reporting back is not going to happen as you imagine.  Your conscious uncoupling didn’t make it to TMZ (or did it?!  Gwen, is this you again??).   I honestly wouldn’t lose any sleep about what your ex BFF knows about your life.

In fact, you could have a little fun with this and spike your FB with all kinds of great things! Update your status with things like “Weekend in New York – again!”… or “Stuck in an Athens ATM line – sad face”.

But seriously, if you do choose to remove these people, do not send them a break up letter.  They are not your friends and to do so would be the one thing that would guarantee them talking about you, which is what you say you don’t want.  By trying to “set the record straight” you are just giving this story more legs than it needs, and you’ve already established their loyalty.  As my good friend “The Cronk” would say “Get over it and move on!”


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