Dear Dharma,

I need your help.  I am in my late 30’s and I do not know what to do with my life.  My days are very routine and not challenging at all.

Do I look for a new job?  Do I move to a different city to start a new life?

Lost in the City

Dear Lost,

Figuring out your true life’s path can be difficult.  I’ve spent many a martini trying to decide what I wanted to be when I grew up and have a book shelf full of titles like “Mid Life Crisis at 30 – What to Do!”

To add to it all, there’s that Immense Pressure of Career Choice that permeates our culture, making us feel that if we don’t choose and excel at a particular thing, we have failed.  However, there are a lot of people out there who haven’t found their “dream job”, but still find things that challenge and excite them.

So without knowing your full situation, I probably can’t solve this for you, but I can surely give you some things to think about.

Start small by making a list (ask around, I’m a fan of the list making) of everything you find interesting and see how you can apply these things to something else.  Even if it seems silly, put it on the list, because you don’t know how it will translate down the road.

For example, if one of your interests is under water basket weaving, look into joining the Society of UWBW’s.  Or if you are into puppies and kittens, how about volunteering at the SPCA?

By volunteering and/or joining groups and associations, your circle of people and activities will naturally start to expand.  This can add so much to your life and can also open doors to career opportunities that you may not have otherwise considered.

Also, is there something you would consider going back to school for?  That would shake things up, non?

The main thing to understand here is that nothing will change if you change nothing.  This post sums it up perfectly, so take a couple of minutes to read the reply to a similar dilemma.

Bottom line is that if you are waiting for change to come knocking on your door, even if you move to a different city with a different door, I don’t believe it will happen unless you start moving in different directions.


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1 Comment

  • Andrew says:

    Hey Lost!

    I had a similar experience a year or two ago when I realized that I wanted to do something day to day that I would get fulfillment from, rather than just paying the rent – this seems to be a commonplace thing with our generation (I’m also 30).

    What I did was look at what part of previous employment I got the most out of – for me it was training new employees and leading a team.

    So then I looked at why I enjoyed training and leading – it was because I loved watching people’s worlds and lives change and open up through new confidence and positive skills.

    Then I looked at what I enjoyed. Fitness is a passion of mine.

    So all I had to do was fit what I enjoyed with something I was passionate about and I ended up going back to school and getting my personal training certification. It will take some work, but eventually I’m confident I’ll end up doing something day to day that pays me and inspires me, as well as putting me into a world of people who share similar passions.

    Maybe my little formula will help you find some clarity – best of luck!!

Whether you agree with Dharma or think she missed the mark on this one, leave a Comment!

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