Hey Big Spender!

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Dear Dharma,

Hi!  I have a question that is kind of different than any you have posted so far.  I’ve been seeing this guy for a few months.  He is really nice, and very funny, and things seem to be going pretty well.  So well, that he gave me a set of diamond earrings to show how much he loved me.

Okay so far, right?  But have you ever been in a situation where you had no reason to doubt something, but someone tried SO HARD to tell you something was so, that you started to have doubts?

That turned out to be the case here. “Honey, I love you SO MUCH, and these real diamond earrings prove that!  They were so expensive!  And they are totally real!  Just like my love is real!  Like these earrings!  With the real diamonds!”  After a few days of my boyfriend doing this, I got suspicious on why he was so insistent the diamonds were real. So on a hunch I went to a jeweller and naturally, they are fake.

So my question is, do I bring it up with Mr. Not-So-Big Spender, or just let it slide?  I mean it’s not like I am heartbroken to not get diamonds after dating for 5 months, but who would lie about something like this?

Sparkle is Leaving my Eye

Dear Sparkle,

If your only question here is whether or not to confront Mr. Razzle Dazzle, I would first question what it is you are trying to accomplish.

Clearly he is trying to impress you.  Clearly he has never heard the saying ‘thou doth protest too much’.  Funny, really, that him trying to convince you of a truth you never suspected as a lie is what tipped you off.

If you think overall that he is a good guy, and that this is a one off white lie designed strictly for showmanship, then I would bite my tongue and wear the earrings – but maybe don’t gush too much about them to anyone in the diamond industry.  Confronting him would cause embarrassment and I can’t really see any positive outcome if you plan on making a go of it with him.

However, while it’s nice he wanted to impress you, and maybe his bank account just doesn’t match the size of his beating heart right now – is this possibly a red flag?  Aren’t trust and honesty worth their weight in gold?  I would think going forward you are going to be skeptical of any other flowery gestures, and I wonder if that will start to colour the whole relationship.

I can see I’m going back and forth on this, so here’s my bottom line.  If at this point you haven’t seen any other signs of treachery, then button up and move on – but keep this information as a possible advisory notice for the future.  Should you start to detect a pattern, then I think the two of you need to have a serious discussion.

Dharma

 

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2 Comments

  • gemma471 says:

    I think it’s a warning sign that he will tell lies to make himself look better – while the intention is kind of okay, it’s misleading and dishonest, and shows that he’s majorly insecure.

  • Penelope says:

    I would definitely say something to him because maybe he thought that the diamonds were real and he was taken advantage of. It is possible that he is not lying and paid for what he thought was real diamonds!!!
    Or ask him for the authenticity certificate so you can insure them.

Whether you agree with Dharma or think she missed the mark on this one, leave a Comment!

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