Winner Winner Chicken Dinner


Dear Dharma, 

I have a non-life threatening dilemma, but it is driving me nuts!  I used to go out with this guy, let’s call him Mike.  We were together for 3 years, until he finally proved to me that his colossal idiot act was, in fact, not an act at all and I kicked his sorry ass to the curb.  Yes, I know, it took 3 years to figure it out, so looks like he wasn’t the only loser in that relationship.

While we were together, one of the sure fire hits for when we were invited to someone’s gathering, or had one of our own, was my secret recipe for homemade fried chicken.  I am not ashamed to brag, it’s awesome and always receives rave reviews.

I am Facebook friends with some of the same people we used to hang around with, but haven’t met up with or seen any of them in years.  A while back, I saw a post by one of those friends: “Had a great dinner party on the weekend, Mike brought his famous fried chicken”.

WTF!  WHOSE famous chicken?  Not only did the jerk steal “our” friends (no big loss mostly, but still, they were my friends too) but he stole MY chicken recipe, and is passing it off as his own!  Which is doubly aggravating since the only thing he could cook up when we were together was an excuse for not picking up his laundry!

What do I do?  Ignore it, mention it to the girl who posted it, call him out on being a thief? I know it seems petty, but you really need to try my fried chicken!

Betty Crocker

Dear Betty,

Yes, definitely a first world problem!  That’s okay, most problems are, aren’t they…

If you haven’t spoken to the person who posted the comment in quite some time, I would implore you to ignore it.

I’m trying to imagine what you would say – “Hey Suzy!  How are you?  So I see you’re still in touch with that a$$ clown Mike… just so you know?  That fried chicken he brought to your party?  Mine!  That was MY recipe!!!  Anyway, hope you’re doing well.  By the way, I’m totally not petty.”

You see the immediate contradiction, right?

On the other hand, if you and Suzy are still friends and have somewhat regular contact, and you can find a way to bring it up in passing, casually, then sure… but still… yeah.  No.  I’m sorry, I’ve changed my mind.  There’s nothing you can say without sounding like a nut bar.  So just don’t.

The solution here is to whip up a batch of this world famous chicken, invite me over, and together we can revel in the fact that Mike’s version could not possibly be as good as the original.



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  • aquarius1171 says:

    too funny – i had an ex do that to me too, except it was my world famous meatballs! whatever – let it slide and know that your chicken is WAY better than his. if he was an idiot when you were together, no reason he wouldn’t be an idiot now.

  • let's call me Ed says:

    huh, I almost think I used to go out with this chick! I agree though, no way to say anything without sounding like a space case. Come to think of it, if she IS anything like my ex, everyone already knows and she should go ahead and rant at the Facebook friends lol!
    Really, anyone whose opinion she should value already knows the truth, so what does she care about Facebook? If all you are is Facebook friends, that isn’t the same as real friends, so let it go.

  • Yummm says:

    Can we all join in for this fab chicken?

    I think everyone is hungry now…

  • Anonymous says:

    I would have commented on the message saying something like “Well i’m glad he’s finally learned to cook something! ”

    But then again, I’m totally okay with being petty!

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