House of Cards


Dear Dharma, 

You may know it was Election Day up here in Canada recently, and I am proud to say the turnout was higher than it has been for a long time (20 years I think!).

My friends and I have never been very political, but with the extra focus on the election and politics in general over the past months, we have all been much more involved.  Even to the point of volunteering on the campaigns.

It turns out that one of my best friends and I have quite different views politically, and volunteered for opposing candidates, as we both live in the same riding.  (Look at me throwing around the jargon – riding, candidate, campaign… lol, a year ago I would have tuned out myself!)

Anyways, long story short, her party didn’t win, and she has taken it quite personally.  Now she won’t talk to me or even respond to texts.

How do I get my friend back?

I Never Voted for This!

Dear Never Voted,

Dharma is a proud Canadian as well, so yes, was very aware of the recent election and thought it was great that so many people turned out at the polls.  It was quite the historic event, with the Liberal Party immensely increasing their number of seats from the previous election – the largest-ever numerical increase by a party in a Canadian election.  Yeah, you’re not the only one with the jargon!

So what’s up with this?  To stop talking to you just because her political party couldn’t take down the Trudeau seems like a drastic measure.

Let’s run through some of the possibilities other than insanity, shall we?

She’s embarrassed to face you because she thinks she has to face a nasty I told you so.  She’s really busy and her lack of response has nothing to do with the election results.    She’s fallen ill.  She’s fallen and she can’t get up.

It’s interesting that after so many years of being friends with politics never playing a role, that once it was at the forefront, it became hugely important.  Perhaps her realizing the two of you had such opposing life views was enough to make her re-evaluate the friendship?

In regards to how to get your friend back, your hands are pretty much tied until you can connect with her.  Can you stalk her until you know she’s home and then show up with a bottle of wine?  Your segue can be that you were worried about her, since you had been trying to reach her and hadn’t heard anything back, and then see where it goes from there.

Maybe she just needs some time to get over the disappointment.  If this was her first time getting involved in the political arena, it would be pretty easy to get involved heart and soul.  To have your party lose once you’ve made an emotional investment could be a tough one.

However, if it turns out the election results and her subsequent realizations are truly the reason she wants to end the friendship, then unfortunately I don’t think there’s anything you can do except respect her decision.

Here’s hoping you made some new friends on the campaign trail?



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  • anon1 says:

    there must be more to the story! peaople don’t just stop talking to you becuz of something like that. could anything else have offended her?

  • jade Kelly says:

    tough break kid! sometimes the weirdest things can derail a long term friendship. I had a falling out with a friend because I said I didn’t like Hall and Oates, didn’t talk for a year! now we laugh about it, but I still think he’s a little flaky.

    I think Dharma hit it on the head when she talked about the first step into political life. It is easy to make it a very personal thing, because you put so much into it, that a defeat feels like a personal rejection. Your friend will come to see that it is just how the game is played, you either get out, a little bruised, or you dust yourself off, slap the winner on the back and say good job, then get ready to kick his ass in 4 years.

    Give her some time, your friend will be back. On the tiny chance that she isn’t, to lose a friend over something that is so outside of what friendship should be about, I would have to say that there is indeed another side to the story that you haven’t twigged to yet.

Whether you agree with Dharma or think she missed the mark on this one, leave a Comment!

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