Best of Dharma – Spiders Aren’t Cool

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Happy New Year and thank you so much for being part of Dear Dharma!

One of my personal favorites from 2015…

Dear Dharma,

I recently got into a fight with my boyfriend and on a whim moved out the very next day. This is the first time in my life I’ve lived alone.  We’re on a break, but I’m still scared… though I know this will make me stronger.

Do you have any advice for living alone?  What can I turn to when things get dark?

Also… how do I get rid of spiders and bugs?  I now live in a garden level suite and there are so many spiders and bugs that creep in.  I’m worried they’ll attack my guinea pigs and/or crawl into my mouth when I fall asleep.

Any advice would be appreciated. Thank you Dharma!

Sincerely,

Spiders Aren’t Cool

Dear Spiders,

Okay, let’s get the big issue out of the way first.  The spiders.  I’ve done some research and you’re going to be okay.  Myth has it that we swallow up to 8 spiders per year.  Gross, right?  Yeah, it would be… if it were true.  Sleeping people breathe, have heartbeats and often snore – these things all of create vibrations which warn spiders of danger.  So they gotta wanna get in your mouth pretty bad to overcome these red flags.

And unless you live in the County of Southampton, your guinea pigs are going to be fine too.

As for how to get rid of spiders, read this.  Some good tips, non?

Moving on.  Without knowing how long you’ve been in this relationship, to move out on a whim after a fight kind of sounds like you were looking for an excuse to move out on a whim.  A “break” implies this is possibly a temporary thing while you both sort things out, but impulsively moving into a spider infested garden suite/guinea pig death trap has a more permanent ring to it.

But I guess this isn’t what your question is about.

Moving into your own space for the very first time is exciting.  Take advantage of the opportunity to set up your nest exactly how you want to!  Once you’ve done that and you’re still looking to fill the time, take a class, read a book (may I recommend Charlotte’s Web?), get Netflix.  You say garden suite, I say garden.  Go out with friends, establish an exercise routine, and tackle some projects you’ve been putting off.  These are just a few of the things you can do to help fend off the darkness.

And speaking of dark, since it’s your first time living alone, take some simple safety precautions, especially living on the ground floor.  Make sure your windows are secured, invest in some outdoor sensor lights, have a flashlight handy, and maybe consider keeping a baseball bat near where you sleep.  In case you have to take down a spider in the night…

Dharma

Categories: Uncategorized

4 Comments

  • wilbur says:

    hey don’t be such a hater! Spiders are misunderstood and really very helpful. They eat far more bugs than you would even expect, so getting rid of spiders actually makes your house MORE buggy! They are tiny (usually) and far more concerned with staying out of your way and keeping your house bug free than figuring how to sneak into your festering gob, or kill your smelly guinea pigs. (and for the record, guinea pigs are rodents, and not real pigs, they are just trying to ride our coat-tails to social esteem).

    • Beth says:

      I don’t really care if they are keeping my house bug-free! If I see one, I will still climb on top of a chair!

  • Delilah says:

    I’m with Beth – noooooo spiders!! But happy to read other people vacuum the creepy crawlers too – I’ve been doing it for years and people usually laugh at me when I do…THE best weapon, I swear!

  • Anonymous says:

    Try having a giant “pet” spider that lives in your bedroom. Like right next to your bed. I keep telling my partner if that thing ever gets out of it’s cage its dead! Spiders are NASTY!

Do you agree with Dharma, or think she missed the mark on this one? Leave a Comment

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