Valentine’s Eve Dilemma


Dear Dharma,

So, it’s the night before Valentine’s Day. A co-worker of mine just told me that he’s started dating a friend of ours that I haven’t seen in ages. They’ve invited me out tonight but I can’t help but feel like a third wheel here.

She’s from out of town and he is from here, so their time is precious. I haven’t talked to her about this, but he says that she wants to see me and catch up.

Do I go?

Heart Shaped Third Wheel

Dear Heart Shaped,

Although this question came in after it was directly relevant to the calendar, I thought it still deserved an answer.  I’m thinking this situation could apply to so much more than just Valentine’s Day, non?

Unless you have some reason to think your co-worker friend was not being straight up with you, I really hope you went.  They were under no obligation to spend an evening out with you, and I really have to believe that if they didn’t want to, they wouldn’t have reached out.

Do you think you are projecting your impressions of what Valentine’s Day (Eve) should be onto this couple, along with your thoughts as to how they should spend their time together?  I would like to think they know the time limitations on their relationship and still choose to spend some of it with other people – which actually sounds quite healthy to me!

Second guessing other people’s intentions can take the fun out of everything, and sometimes it’s best to take things at face value and just live in the moment.  Hopefully you seized the opportunity to get together with a friend you hadn’t seen in a long time and enjoyed your night out with them!  Great times with friends make up some of the best memories, right?

Would love to know if you went, so drop us a comment down below and keep us in the loop!


Got a question for Dharma? She’s probably got an answer!

Go on, submit your question in the contact form on the toolbar. You know you want to! To submit anonymously, just make up a fake name and email – as long as the fields are populated, it works!

Like Dharma on Facebook at and on Twitter at @deardharma

Categories: Uncategorized


  • Shalini says:

    Agreed – I would totally go and not feel out of place! I hope you did too and had a wonderful time.

  • Heart Shaped Third Wheel says:

    Thank you Dharma! Your advice is spot on here. I did end up going out that night and I had a really great time with both of them. 🙂 It was great to catch up with my friend and grill her on the how’s and when’s of how they started dating. 🙂 I’m so happy for both of them and they are so cute together!

Whether you agree with Dharma or think she missed the mark on this one, leave a Comment!

%d bloggers like this: