Wait a Minute Mr. Postman


Dear Dharma,

I know you have answered a few questions about gifts and thank you cards already, but this is a bit different.

I am one that doesn’t do (or expect) thank you cards, I give gifts for the act of giving, and not for the response I get.  When I get a gift though, I always make sure to tell the person “Thank you” whether that is in person or in a call or text.  Almost all of my friends are the same way too.

A fairly close friend had a milestone birthday recently, but due to circumstances I could not attend.  I sent a gift card with a regular card by mail, and haven’t heard anything from him at all.

How can I ask if he got it, without sounding like I am pissed I didn’t get a thank you?  I just want to make sure it didn’t get lost in the Post Office.

Please Mr. Postman

Dear Mr. Postman,

It’s always a bit unnerving when you pop a gift card in the mail, since essentially, it’s the same as mailing cash – sometimes it’s worth the extra couple of bucks to send it express and get a tracking number…

I guess that isn’t your question though, now is it…!  Just a value add on my part…

I see you as having two choices here, the first being to put it out of your mind and hope your friend simply forgot to mention it.  The second is to ask him.  Next time you are talking, throw in something like this at the end – “Oh hey, Bob, I forgot to mention that I popped a card in the mail for your birthday, I hope it got there in time?”

That way you are questioning the timing and not the lack of response.



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Categories: Advice, Etiquette, Friends

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