Baby Needs New Shoes


Dear Dharma,

I need some help with a situation concerning my close friend. She is constantly shopping for ONLY brand name products and refuses to wear anything else. She does not, by any means, have the job to afford this. This is your typical champagne taste and beer budget person.

I’ve got a good job and have helped her out with some bills from time to time. She is now hitting me up for more money… Last time I gave her money, thinking I was helping her for bills, she showed up to my house with her brand new Coach bag, 2 days later!

How do I tell her no? I mean… What good is a friend if I say no to her asking me to help her buy some groceries?!

The Giver

Dear Giver,

What we have here is a classic case of someone being “too nice” – that’s you, by the way…

Any time anyone has ever said that to me, my response has always been, “Because that’s the biggest problem in the world, right, that people are too nice?”  And mostly I stand by that.

Not this time, however.  You are being taken advantage of, plain and simple.  And by a close friend, to boot, which really sucks.

Helping a friend out with some bills is a lovely thing to do.  Having a friend frame themselves in poverty while toting their latest Coach bag is a douche move.

A couple of suggestions for you, other than growing a pair and flat out saying no – because, really…

Next time she asks you for money, tell her you’re a bit short yourself, and maybe she should consider putting an item or two on Craigslist.  Ha, tell her you’re saving for a pair of Fluevogs and just can’t spare a dime.  Seriously, have you seen their shoes?

Alternately, and I don’t love this option, but if you really can’t bring yourself to deny this thief of a friend, pick up some basic staples for her from the grocery store next time she needs some “help”.  If she freaks out and says that isn’t what she wanted, I’m hoping that will be enough for you to see that she’s not the close friend you think she is.



Got a question for Dharma? She’s probably got an answer!

Go on, submit your question in the contact form on the toolbar. You know you want to! To submit anonymously, just make up a fake name and email – as long as the fields are populated, it works!

And be sure to follow Dharma everywhere!

Instagram too!

And of course, Twitter… @deardharma

Whether you agree with Dharma or think she missed the mark on this one, leave a Comment!

%d bloggers like this: