A Good Bellini is Hard to Find


Dear Dharma,

HELP! I have an issue with a friend and I’m not quite sure what to do about it.

A few weeks ago I injured myself quite badly and have been off work attempting to mend.  My friend and I had made a dinner date at Cactus Club previous to all of this happening.  Despite the injury, I was still excited to visit and have some good old fashioned gab time. I figured it would be a good distraction from my crappy situation and was still willing to make the effort to go.

With my injury I am unable to drive and the restaurant is quite a distance from me, and since I’m off work for an undetermined amount of time I need to watch my spending.  After figuring out the cost of a taxi as well as the price of dinner and drinks, I felt that Cactus Club was a bit on the expensive side and suggested some cheaper and closer options.

My friend’s reaction was to say that she could go to any of the cheaper and closer options anytime and that if we weren’t going to Cactus Club we shouldn’t bother at all. She wasn’t even open to entertaining the idea, or willing to make a compromise that would leave both of us happy.

I have to say, I’m quite taken back.  The fact that she’s more worried about the restaurant we eat at than that we get to have a visit (or not) makes me seriously question whether I want to continue the friendship with someone so selfish.

What should I do?


The Prickly Cactus

Dear Prickly,

Wow.  I’d love to know how long the two of you have been friends and if she has shown this side of her personality before.  I mean, I love Bellini’s as much as the next gal, but yeah, just wow.

Without knowing those factors, I don’t want to say just axe the entire friendship without a step in between, which would be a conversation.  Something along the lines of “I’m really disappointed at your reaction, as I was looking forward to spending time with you.  Unfortunately my circumstances don’t allow me to go where we originally decided, but if you change your mind about the venue, let me know!”

And then see what the reaction is.  If she concedes to your current limitations and decides to accommodate them, I may be inclined to write it off as a onetime glitch and let it go.  However, if she sticks to her guns and needs a slushy peach drink more than she needs your company, then your gut instinct is probably the way to go.




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