Truth or Dare


Dear Dharma,

A few months ago I met a super-hot guy who I instantly clicked with. We recently decided to be exclusive and I was over the moon… until a little game of truth or dare happened over a bonfire last weekend. We were camping with my best friends (guys and girls) who he’s just getting to know, and it was going great until he was dared to tell his naughtiest story.

It’s bad enough hearing about your guy with another girl, but turns out his was with another guy, and oh, by the way, he’s bisexual. I was totally shocked but tried to play it cool even though I was totally freaking out. I feel like this is a pretty major thing, and I had absolutely no clue.

Should I cut and run? Am I overreacting? I have no issues with anyone’s sexuality, but I am a monogamous type of girl and not really looking to share my man with another man. Would love your thoughts!

Camping Confessions

Dear Camping,

Not sure if I think that was the best way for super-hot guy you instantly clicked with to share this information, as you are correct, it is a pretty major thing.  It was unfair of him to have put you in a situation where you needed to process this news in front of other people.  Good for you for playing it cool in the moment, and let’s give him that he just blurted it out because the opportunity presented itself.  Had probably been looking for a way to tell you, is my guess.

Your reactions are a bit of a jumble, which is more than understandable, so let’s see what we can sort out.  Are you overreacting?   I don’t know – you sound shocked and confused and I’m guessing you feel a bit hurt at the delivery, so no, I don’t think so.

And it’s great you don’t have issues with anyone’s sexuality, except that not everything is going to work for everyone, and this may be one of those things.  You don’t need to have an issue with bisexuality to not be comfortable with it.  You just need to ask yourself if it fits with who you are.  Whether it does or doesn’t, you need to own that and be okay with that truth.  You’re not bizarre if it does work for, and you’re not homophobic if it doesn’t.

Also, the fact that he’s bisexual doesn’t mean he can’t be monogamous to you, does it?  I’m comfortable in crossing that off your list of concerns if you are, unless there is additional information to support otherwise.  He took part in the decision to be exclusive with you and that should count for something.

Your main question really becomes should you cut and run, and that, my friend, only you can answer.  If you can be at peace with this new information, and it really doesn’t move you one way or another, then by all means, see what comes of it.  However, if this is going to be bouncing around in your head more often than not, then likely things won’t work out in the long run.  If you are not able to accept someone in their entirety, it almost never works – and that’s okay!  We can’t all be the perfect match for everybody, and that’s why God invented dating.



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