The Naked Gun – Part II

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Hello and good morning everyone!  So here we go, into Dharma’s first ever exposé, which was inspired by the following question:

Dear Dharma,

I’m late 20’s and online dating.  Seriously, what is it with guys sending me pics of their dicks??

Not Even Kidding

Because I quickly realized I wouldn’t be able to do NEK(id)’s question any real justice, I reached out to a number of people with a variety of questions, and man oh man, the responses came tumbling in.  So much so that Dharma decided to break it down into manageable portions – if we did it as one post, you’d be limp from exhaustion half way through. And no one wants that…

Here are the questions that Dharma sent out:

Does this really happen?  Do girls like this? Why do you think guys do this?  Do guys think girls like this?  Do girls do this?

Dharma’s panel of experts quickly rose to the occasion, sending in their answers fast and furiously, often with more than was asked for.  It was as if the question was a lightning rod, and once they were finally given a venue to unload their thoughts and feelings on this topic, they weren’t going to let the opportunity wilt.

The first question – does this really happen?

So yeah, I have to admit that Dharma was left feeling pretty out of touch and kind of dumb at having even asked the question at all, considering the answer was a resounding – OMG, this happens ALL THE TIME – from each and every person.

I didn’t know!  Like I said, in my time of dating, our brick sized cell phones didn’t even have cameras and Polaroids weren’t quite as impressive – and very awkward to handle, you needed two hands –  so I never had the opportunity to experience this social phenomenon.

Not only does this happen far more than Dharma would have ever imagined, but there was more feedback on receiving this type of correspondence:

“You would be sitting at home, cozy with a nice book and then the little blue flashing light on your phone starts blinking and you get a tense feeling in your chest wondering “Is this a genuine text or is it going to be his spunky monkey?

What guys don’t seem to realize (or maybe they are so impressed with themselves that they just don’t care) is that the picture quality and angling that it takes for them to get a picture of their own stick and walnuts is so bad.  We spend the first 20-30 seconds trying to figure out what the hell they’ve sent us.  Picture the way you try and read a menu without your glasses; you slowly start bringing the phone closer to your face, saying “What IS this?”  And by the time you realize what it is, the phone is inches from your face and the guy has most likely sent you some grotesquely inappropriately emoticon like a smiley face or a thumbs up following his sea cucumber.”

 

“They almost always happen at the oddest times as well. In the middle of conversations about dogs, in the middle of your work day (beware of opening text attachments in the office lol) and sometimes just late at night.”

Funny, right?  And a bit disturbing too, non?  I’m trying to picture having dinner with my mom and getting a text like that…

Be sure to tune in tomorrow to see what Dharma’s experts have to say about whether or not they like receiving unsolicited penis pictures… Anyone wanna make a bet on where this goes?

Dharma

happy dick

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2 Comments

  • Willie Weiner says:

    I hope you are not too one-sided in your story, did you ever talk to any guy who does this? maybe they have a good reason?
    “lighting is never quite right in person.”
    “I’m not really a spontaneous person, I need to plan for big events”
    “It was too cold ”
    “you need to get my good side”

    I’m just saying, don’t leap to conclusions is all.

    • Dharma says:

      Hey there Weiner – make sure you tune in for the rest of the series – Dharma made sure to use a panel that consisted of both men and women of all ages, as to ensure a balanced story!

      No leaping, I promise!

Do you agree with Dharma, or think she missed the mark on this one? Leave a Comment

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