The Naked Gun – Part V

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Well, I’m spent, how about you?

We’ve gone through a lot of information this week, and all because of this simple little question:

Dear Dharma,

I’m late 20’s and online dating.  Seriously, what is it with guys sending me pics of their dicks??

Not Even Kidding

NEK(id), we’ve really opened a can of worms here, so to speak, now haven’t we.  The amount of feedback we received to the following questions was staggering:

Does this really happen?  Do girls like this? Why do you think guys do this?  Do guys think girls like this?  Do girls do this?

We quickly established that yes, this happens, a lot, and no, girls don’t like it.  At all.  I guess those results aren’t really that surprising, but where we went from there definitely made me stop short.

Resoundingly, the information came in to support that men pretty much know that most women find this behaviour offensive, but in searching for the one girl who doesn’t, they do it anyway.

In one of the many conversations I’ve had about this lately, someone asked me, “How is this different from the creeps who used to hang around parks and drop their pants in front of little girls?  Isn’t this just electronic flashing?”

Someone else asked, “How is this not cyber rape or at least plain old sexual harassment?”

Yet another said, “Isn’t this just another example of men imposing their sexual needs over women who are saying loud and clear they don’t want this?”

Ahh.  But are they?  Because here’s what else I got a lot of… “I never wanted to make a big deal about it, because I didn’t want to come off as a prude.”

So… what exactly is happening in society that makes women feel that if we say we don’t like or want pictures of penises jammed in our faces, that we will be considered a prude?

Well, I don’t know – how about the Stanford rape case?

How about the age old notion that “boys will be boys”, which takes an apologetic stance and excuses all sorts of bad behaviour simply because of gender, while women are conditioned to smile and suck it up.

And if this video doesn’t illustrate that point perfectly, I don’t know what does.  It says so much more than I have room in this post.

As a side note, no one gave any feedback as to whether or not girls do this too… as in, do girls send unsolicited crotch shots.

Based purely on how the panel responded to the other questions, which was mostly with disgust and annoyance, I feel okay in saying that it seems – and I could be wrong – but it seems like an arena mainly dominated by men.  Feel free to tell me otherwise.  And please don’t send proof…

NEK(id), I really hope we’ve been able to kind of sort of answer your question.  At the very least, we’ve given everyone a lot to think about, non?

A massive thank you to everyone who took the time to send me their thoughts and feedback on this topic. Without you, my answer would have been, “Ummm, I dunno…” Which even I can tell is not that helpful.

In closing, some final words from one of our experts:

“I’d tell her that even though she might want to be compassionate enough to try and see the good in these men, there are way too many guys out there who don’t want to rock out with their cock out to pay attention to the ones that do.”

Dharma

 

naked gun1

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3 Comments

  • Foto Genic says:

    I tend to think that this is a bad thing, especially as it seems that it is mostly unwanted by the recipient. However, I think you have artificially skewed your research, to the “OMG this is gross” side. Maybe that is a function of your focus group, but a quick Google search shows that it ain’t necessarily so…
    As an example see https://goodmenproject.com/featured-content/can-we-please-stop-demonizing-d-pics-ajrt/
    Food for thought!

    • Dharma says:

      Hey there Foto Genic – thanks so much for taking the time to respond, it’s always good to get other perspectives…

      However, I don’t know if I think this article you’ve sent necessarily plays to your favour, when the very first title is “Know before you show if she really wants that photo of what you’re packing.”

      The Naked Gun was meant to address the unsolicited dick pics, not the ones the low percentage of women are requesting (approx 10% based on that article – leaving 90% that aren’t requesting, and a certain percentage of those women for sure are still receiving them). If it’s between two consenting participants, have at ‘er… but know before you show.

      I don’t feel I artificially skewed the research – as I said, I reached out to a large range of people – male, female, young, not so young, single, not single – and these were simply the comments I got back. I didn’t edit for effect and I didn’t encourage anyone to tell me what I wanted hear.

      Again, thanks for the comment and the article, it’s appreciated!

Do you agree with Dharma, or think she missed the mark on this one? Leave a Comment

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