Tinder Tales – 1

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Well, we’ve had quite the week on Dharma, with all that Naked Gun talk… and I thought this dating commentary would be the perfect follow up.

Let me introduce you to this week’s guest blogger Molly.  Currently a single girl, she’s dabbling in some online dating and thought we might be entertained by some of her escapades…  Welcome to the first edition of Tinder Tales!

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Tinder Tales – 1

Hey there! Follow me through the wild ride of online dating in Vancouver, BC.

Here’s a little bit about me and how I ended up on multiple online dating sites.

I am a late 20 something woman who works in business. I love my dog, my life and feel I’m a good catch besides being a tad bat $hit crazy at times – but being vanilla is so overdone.

I’ve been single for the past 8 months because my last disastrous relationship ended in flames due to him wanting to be a professional fighter and me not supporting that – not to be rude, but he’s in his mid-30’s and couldn’t hold a job as he pursued his dream of being the next GSP – fml. Now I’m on Tinder, Bumble and eHarmony.

My first match:

After weeks of conversations going nowhere, multiple perverts, dick pics, swingers, and men who want the milk before the cow… I came to my first date.

I was so excited! He was a gentleman who wanted to take me to dinner – a real date, not an interview! He had a job, a cool haircut and friends! He even owned his own apartment – which is a feat in Vancouver.

I show up thirty minutes late… and arrive to a man who looks nothing like his picture… he was polite and we did the awkward hug. The conversation was nice… except for the fact we had nothing in common… Who does triathlons? Is that a normal thing? Has he heard of Netflix? GOT? Am I right?

I was putting back drinks like they were going out of style and feeling pretty good at an awful Thai restaurant… except I couldn’t figure out how he didn’t look like his pictures at all… like at all… was it his brother? I didn’t bring it up because I thought it would be rude. Plus the picture I use is when I was 10 lbs lighter with blonde hair.

Also, I asked if he had been married before and he laughed and said yeah, for 6 weeks…apparently he and his ex-wife thought getting married would help their terrible relationship – he then said, “Relationships, right…”… righttt… righttt…

F****CKKKKKK. I shaved my legs for this.

The date ended – awkward pause and a hug. I ghosted him. (Ghosted = didn’t reply to his further msgs/ calls) Don’t hate me Dharma fans, he looked nothing like he said he would. It’s like sending a picture of Leo D and Jonah Hill shows up.  And triathlons!

p.s  I deleted my e Harmony account – not what I was looking for and mostly Americans.

Stay tuned for the next date… that includes a potential one nighter where I lost my car.

Lots of love and liquor,

Molly

tinder

 

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Categories: Advice, Dating, Relationships, Sex

13 Comments

  • Anonymous says:

    You say you showed up 30 minutes late like no big deal… what’s with that? Surprised he waited for you, maybe that should be the first strike against him.

    • Molly says:

      Hi there!

      Thanks for the comment! I live downtown and traffic was awful due to an accident and then I could’t find parking near the restaurant. I was talking to him the entire time – letting him know and was really apologetic. Being late sucks – you’re right.. should have planned it better 🙂

      • Dharma says:

        Hey Molly – glad you took the time to clarify that point, as it seemed to definitely hit a nerve with people – understandably so! Being nonchalantly late isn’t cool, but the fact that you were in touch with him as it was happening changes the tone completely!

  • Tammy Tinder says:

    Gotta hear how you lost your car!

  • Abby S. says:

    Ugh. Frikken millenials. you show up late with no respect for another persons time, tear him a new one because he’s athletic and then dare call him out on not looking like his pic when you don’t either? WTF?

    • Molly says:

      Hi there, Abby S.

      Aren’t you a ray of sunshine! Please don’t generalize my generation for all being late with no respect due to my lack of being able to manage my time. Millennials rock! That would be like me saying that all Gen X’ers are cheap and can’t use technology. Yes, he is athletic but I have no interest in running a million miles or being uber fit so that was a deal breaker for me. I look like my picture…you can still tell it’s me. His picture was deceitful – there’s a line between using a good picture of yourself and using a picture of a model who looks nothing like you.

      Really love your comments! keep’em coming 🙂

  • As someone who trudged through the online dating world for five years, I feel your pain, Molly, but I think you need to change your game up if you’re looking for a better experience. I made a few of these mistakes more than once and inevitably kissed a lot of frogs, but ultimately learned the lessons I needed to find my prince. If it’s just a one night stand or a story to tell your friends that you’re looking for, power to you, but you still need to be respectful. If you’re looking for something more, here goes:

    1. What’s your objective – short term or long term? Use that to guide your fishing grounds (aka dating site choices). And a quick note about Tinder: if it’s for a good time, great – but anytime you use a picture as a basis for swiping right on your future, you’re destined for failure.

    2. Use the online world as an opportunity to swap a few emails back and forth before you meet. The fact that you didn’t have anything in common shouldn’t have been a surprise.

    3. If you’re a picky eater, help pick the restaurant. The last thing you want is to be distracted by an environment you’re not comfortable in.

    4. Since when is being an athlete a bad thing? The GSP-obsessed ex I get, but typically athletes have great attributes: a healthy lifestyle, grit, dedication, a strong bod (amen!).

    5. Have a two drink maximum for a first date. Don’t waste your (or HIS) time with cloudy judgment.

    6. Go for coffee, not dinner. That way you could have easily excused yourself after 20 minutes once you realized it wasn’t going to work out.

    7. Don’t ghost. If he sends a follow-up email and you’re not interested, a simple, “Thank you so much. I really enjoyed meeting you but don’t think we’re looking for the same thing. Best of luck in your search!” note closes the door firmly, on a polite note.

    8. DON’T BE LATE!

    Anyway, just my two cents. Dating is hard for everyone – a little kindness and etiquette from both parties goes a long way.

    • Molly says:

      Hi Been there, done that!

      Appreciate the words of wisdom. Hope you found your prince!

    • Dharma says:

      Hey Been There –

      Thanks for taking the time to write in… you make some really excellent points here.

      I couldn’t agree more about setting the objective. Tinder isn’t a dating site, it’s a hook up site… I don’t know if I think this is where Molly is going to find true love, but hey she never listens to me, so maybe she’ll listen to you! 🙂

  • Oh god not a spandex! says:

    I have to ask… How did you guys get all the way to a meeting in person without finding out he is a triathelete and you prefer to watch Netflix and chill?

    Isn’t it a requirement for triatheletes and cyclists to mention their abilities within 10 seconds of meeting anyone, anywhere, under any circumstances?

    Just curious, because those are lifestyles that REALLY wouldn’t line up, so I’m trying to figure out how you got to face to face without knowing…

  • […] for the date itself – take a quick read over the first installment of Tinder Tales for some do’s and don’ts, including the comments… some good […]

  • […] Dharma is so pleased to have Molly return for her second installment of Tinder Tales!  For those of you who missed her the first time, you can catch up here. […]

Whether you agree with Dharma or think she missed the mark on this one, leave a Comment!

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