The Great Outdoors


Dear Dharma,

I am admittedly addicted to outdoor activities, mainly cycling and hiking.  My boyfriend doesn’t like either of these things, and we already have hardly any time together as we both work opposite schedules.

Biking and hiking is what I like to do in the evenings and weekends once I’ve done all my chores around the house. It’s my way to unwind! I would really like it if my boyfriend would join me at least occasionally, but he refuses.

I really think he would enjoy this unwinding time with me. How do you think I can get him to do this?

Thanks for your help,

Exercise Junkie

Dear Junkie,

I wish you had said what it is your boyfriend likes to do instead.  I also wish I knew more about what you do have in common rather than what you don’t.

Because this is something you don’t have in common.  Did you not know that about him when you first hooked up?

The fact that you think he would enjoy it, when he flat out has said no thank you, is lovely, but I think you would do well to put your energy elsewhere.

That doesn’t mean you shouldn’t hike and bike, but you need to come to peace with the fact that you will be doing it sans boyfriend.  It’s okay for you not to do everything together and to pursue your own activities some of the time, right?

Sure, it would be nice if he would make the effort, but you’ve asked, he’s refused and here we are.  Not a hill to die on, unless I’m missing some part of a quiet power struggle.

Because you have opposing schedules, I would choose to make better use of your time rather than stew over this.  Focus on the things you both like to do, or look into developing some new hobbies that you can both enjoy together.



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1 Comment

  • anon says:

    Well they say opposites do attract! I’m sure you guys can make something work. Dharma’s right… find something that interests him that you can both do together. It’ll be a new experience for both of you!

Whether you agree with Dharma or think she missed the mark on this one, leave a Comment!

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