Making Ends Meet

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Dear Dharma,

I am a college student on a budget and getting really tired of trying to make ends meet.

I go to school full time, work 2 part-time jobs and feel like I never have money to spend on a little fun.  I have been with my boyfriend for 6 months and he finds himself in the same boat.  He does work full time (no school), but has 2 car payments and wants to buy a motorcycle.

We have been discussing moving in together to save money, but maybe it’s too soon…

Please help!!

Trying to Get Ahead

Dear Get Ahead,

I’m hopeful that when you say “Please help!!” that you mean it, and that you’re not just looking for someone to tell you what you want to hear.

I am also hopeful that because you are reaching out for some advice it means you are genuinely on the fence about this decision and can maybe maybe be swayed away from a bad decision.

Which would be moving in together after dating for just 6 months.

The fact that you are only in college and already tired of trying to make ends meet makes me chuckle just a little bit.  You’re going to be travelling down that road for oh, I don’t know, but a bit longer, I suspect.  You’re supposed to be short on money while you are in college – live with it, cutie pie.  It won’t be forever.

But moving in together is kind of supposed to be, isn’t it?  At least, wouldn’t it be nice if that were the intention?  If it was about love and gushy stuff like that?  Which, if I may point out, you don’t mention at all…

And for the record, I would still say don’t do it – if  he’s the right guy for you today, I assure you he still will be in 6 months or a year from now.  You’ll just have more information to base your decision on.

Moving in together to save money is definitely not the best reason to commit to each other on that level.  I mean, I guess it’s not the worst reason either, but are those the circumstances you want to build your relationship on?

Especially because there are so many other solutions here!  Like, get a roommate.   Or tell the BF to sell a car and maybe hold off on the motorcycle until he can actually afford it.

Just please don’t move in together – not for these reasons, and not this soon.  Please, okay?

Dharma

 

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2 Comments

  • BeenThere says:

    Too soon for sure! Take it from someone who has moved in or let someone move in for convenience or economy. Those relationships didn’t work out.
    Take this as an opportunity to see how you can both find other, healthy alternatives.
    All the best,
    BeenThere

    • Dharma says:

      Thanks for weighing in, Been There. Living together is – or should be – a big decision, and not one made to satisfy a need for convenience. Choosing to share your life with someone should be about more than $$.

      Thanks again for the comment!

Whether you agree with Dharma or think she missed the mark on this one, leave a Comment!

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