High School Dating


Dear Dharma,

I need your help! You seem to be very good at this. I am a high school student in grade 10 and have the biggest crush on a guy, ever… Problem is… he’s a grade younger than me. I feel like in high school, it’s SUCH a big deal in your social status to go out with someone younger than you. They always want OLDER. So dumb!!!

I am so so crazy for him and want to get his attention so we can date. How do I do this?

Love Struck

Dear Struck,

Oh my, there are so many ways to get his attention!

At first I thought we were going to get hung up on the age difference.  I was pleased that you moved right past that, so okay, I will too!

Of course I don’t know all the dynamics here, like if you play sports together or are a part of any school groups that may overlap… Some mutual friends could be very helpful in this arena as well…

If yes to any of those, for sure there’s got to be a way to build on that commonality, right?  But without knowing, I don’t want to spend a ton of time there, so let’s look at some old school tactics instead.

The main thing is you’ve got to establish some line of communication.  You need a conversation you can build on the next time you see each other so that things can progress.  Likely it’s not going to be an instant “we talked for 10 seconds and now we’re BF/GF”.  You are going to have to put in a bit of effort.

Can you get in line behind him in the cafeteria and start some cheesy conversation about trying the Kung Pao chicken?  If he bites, are you bold enough to then ask if it’s okay to sit together, since all your friends are… ahhh… studying through their lunch today?

What about the classic drop your books in the hallway move?  Come on, I know you’ve seen it in the movies.  It’s a good one.  Not only cuz it can work so well, but also it will show if he’s a kind, helpful and considerate type of guy.  If he steps right past and leaves you to pick up all your things, well, that’s all you need to know about him, right?

Or you could say, “You know what Dharma?  To heck with all that.  I’m down with today’s world and I’m not gonna bat my eyelashes at this guy, I’m going for the direct approach.”

And I’d say, good for you, you go girlfriend, and all those other things that would make me sound super cool.

Just keep in mind – you are a worldly grade 10’er.  Most grade 9 boys are still a bit geeky and nervous, so be patient and kind if he bumbles a bit.



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  • Anon says:

    Lol this is so cute. Omg, outside of high school, dating someone a year younger is so not a big deal!! Good luck!

  • Ahh the pains of high school... says:

    As someone who was once a boy in high school and dated a girl a year older, I can tell you he gains serious cool points for it, so don’t worry about that!

    But we’re also oblivious at that age (some stay that way) , so subtlety and games will likely just confuse him.

    As a dude, I would say that if you just tell him he will be grateful – I had several girls I knew as friends, (and had crushes on) during high school tell me years later that at that time they were really into me. I had no idea though, so it was annoying because had they told me, I would have asked them out in a second. But I didn’t have the confidence at the time to take the leap without solid evidence..

    Don’t know if this is helpful, but if I was him, I’d appreciate it – if there’s a connection and you’re that into him, he could easily be just as interested but not quite brave enough to risk embarrassment, especially because you’re older, he may be thinking ‘well she wouldn’t be into me, I’m only in grade 9’…

    Let him know you like him!! Don’t assume he’ll get the hint, we’re crap at hints

  • No issue here says:

    You gotta love high school problems !!

Whether you agree with Dharma or think she missed the mark on this one, leave a Comment!

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