Tinder Tales – 2

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Well hello hello, everyone – and happy Sunday!

Dharma is so pleased to have Molly return for her second installment of Tinder Tales!  For those of you who missed her the first time, you can catch up here.

Currently a single girl, Molly’s been dabbling in some online dating and thought we might be entertained by some of her escapades…  So welcome to the second edition of Tinder Tales!

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Tinder Tales – 2

Hi guys,

Sorry it’s been a bit since I last wrote in. My life became one giant mess really quick. Things have somewhat sorted themselves out now so I’m ready to regale you on my search for love in all the wrong places…

Where the f*** did I park my car?

On Tinder I matched with a nice fellow – he had a funny Seinfeld quote in his bio and seemed to have decent teeth in his pictures – PLUS a full head of hair. We briefly texted back and forth – found out he was employed, taller than me (MUST HAVE), and seemed to have a good sense of humour.

I had some time to kill after work before my date so I ended up having 2 glasses of wine with a girlfriend. In hindsight, I shouldn’t have done this. It did not give me a cool as a cucumber edge.

I met my date at 7:30pm downtown. He was sitting in the restaurant when I arrived – he was cute, and could hold a conversation. We had a drink and decided to go to another bar – when he stood up I realized he had a smaller frame then me – I’m tall for a girl, so I really hate it when I feel I can bench press my date – and this was totally one of those situations.

Any who, he made me laugh so I decided to look past it. Now, at the second bar we’ve had 2 more drinks and nothing to eat. The date comes to a close. It’s raining and he asks to walk me to my car – what a gent!

Seriously, where’s my car?

OH F***. I don’t live downtown and can’t remember where the f*** I left my car. He laughs and walks me down another block but you can tell he’s starting to get pissed because it’s pouring rain out.

I say “oh there’s my car” to some random black Honda. F***,f***,f**. We stop beside the car – thank god, he doesn’t wait for me to unlock it. We kiss goodbye. It was a pretty gross kiss and then he asks if he should come over. Gross. I say no, I’m pretty tired. He says okay and walks off as I pretend to find my keys in my purse.

I wait till he’s almost out of sight and call a cab.

What’s the cab for you ask? To help me find my car. I paid $12 for a cab to drive me around the neighbourhood until I found it.

There was no second date for this eager beaver. Onward and upward to my next Tinder date. Stay tuned.

Love and liquor,

Molly

tinder

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Categories: Advice, Dating, Relationships

3 Comments

  • Anonymous says:

    Hmmmmm, a lot of alcohol, no food, and then you drove? Doesn’t sound like a wise combination to me, Molly 😡

  • Anonymous says:

    Gather ’round children it’s time for a story.

    Back in another life, I too dabbled in the not so fine art of online dating. I searched the lily pond for many years and kissed a lot of frogs. We would have seemingly good dates, but being a lady who wasn’t looking for a “hit it and quit it” kind of relationship, guys would ask to come home, I’d say no thank you, then I’d never hear from them again.

    But, I always found that these frogs were much smaller in stature than they claimed to be on their profile. Being a somewhat naive and trusting human I chalked it up to men just taking a shot in the dark at how tall they were and not really knowing.

    So, one day, I Googled more interesting things to do when you meet somebody on a dating website.

    I found a blog! Yay, right? A solution to all of my online dating woes!

    Not so much…. this was a blog, written by an “online dating master” (Barney Stinson.com if you will) about how to get a one night stand on dating websites.

    Near the top of this disgusting list “lie about how tall you are”.

    Do you think that this guy was perturbed that women might read his blog and catch on that these men were lying about fundamental human facts to get laid? Nope, he advises the men to not even bother trying with “frigid” women because there are enough of us out there that are stupid enough to fall for it….

    Not saying it changed too much, but I educated myself on these lies and you better believe that any man that said he was 6′ measured up

Do you agree with Dharma, or think she missed the mark on this one? Leave a Comment

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