The Best of Dharma – Girls, Girls, Girls


Hi there everyone – and it’s almost a long weekend for my Canadian followers – enjoy!  Dharma will be back next week, so until then, one last blast from the past…

Dear Dharma,

Okay, so I frequent a place on a slightly less then daily basis. There are two females who work there that have caught my interest. One I interact with occasionally – she is kind of introverted and tough to read, and I’m quite interested in her.  I interact with the other girl on a much more frequent basis and she is much more outgoing.  She seems to be interested in me, and I am interested as well, but not as much as the other girl.

In both cases I have only serious intentions, I am not looking to only “hook up” with either. In both cases I have seen what I interpret as signs that they are interested in me.

My first question – Is there a way to tell if a girl who works in customer service is actually interested in you, or am I just full of myself and taking exceptional customer service skills as romantic interest?

Second question – Is there an intelligent way to go for the one that I’m most interested in without turning off the girl I’m not into as much in the event that my first choice isn’t interested in me?

She Likes Me, She Likes Me Not

Dear Likes,

Well, this is not the worst problem to have, now is it! Too many girls to pick from is kind of a delightful dilemma, non?

In regards to your first question, I enjoy the fact that you’ve considered the possibility that good customer service isn’t necessarily linked to romantic interest.  A thought like that wouldn’t even occur to someone full of themselves, so I think you are okay on that realm.

Because the job of someone in the customer service industry is to be friendly and helpful, you’re right, it’s hard to say.  You might just have to take the plunge and ask her out to know for sure.  “I’m wondering if I could take you for a coffee sometime” is low key enough to eliminate any real risk factor on your part. She’s either going to say sure, sounds great or she’s going to say no, she has a boyfriend.  In either case you should be able to roll with her response with relative grace and agility.

I think your second question is actually is there an intelligent way to have your cake and eat it too?

I’ll let you take a moment to ponder that and see if you still think it’s a viable question.

Look.  Here’s the thing.  You don’t really want girl #2.  She might be more outgoing, and you might have a bit more interaction with her, but spare her the grief of being just that – girl #2.

Take the leap towards the one you are most interested and hope for the best.  If for whatever reason she doesn’t bite, consider that the time to leave well enough alone.  Don’t become the serial dater wannabe person of this place you frequent on a very regular basis.



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