The Best of Dharma – Monster High Drama

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Hello hello there!  Yes, Halloween has come and gone, but let’s hold on to it for just one more day! There are some good life lessons in this one… 🙂

Dear Dharma, 

My wife and I have a wonderful little girl who just turned 6 and is in first grade.  She is always excited for Halloween, but this year even more so.  Her favourite show is something called Monster High, with all sorts of cute monster themed characters, and she has her heart set on going to the school party as Cleo.  Or at least, she did until she found out that one of her friends is going as Cleo too.

Now she is devastated, and doesn’t want to go. The other girl is a close friend, so it’s not like they would be on opposite sides of the gym, they are pretty much joined at the hip at most functions.  How do you explain to a 6 year old that there are other costumes, and to not be so upset?  I have already considered suggesting they could be clones, or one is an evil twin, but I think that would go over her head.

Help Dad Make Her Not Sad

Dear Dad,

Awww, best sign out name ever…

Well, Dad, I’m hoping you are not a great believer in Generation Entitlement and that you can view this is an opportunity to start teaching your little one some tips on coping with disappointment.  Sadly, this won’t be the last time she will be disillusioned by the tricks and treats life will undoubtedly throw her way.  Helping her learn how to handle things with grace and maturity, no matter how old she is, will really help her out down the road.

In saying that, I don’t know if I think picking a different costume is necessarily the only solution.  I mean, it’s one possibility, sure, but maybe part of the learning experience here is in understanding she’s not always going to be the one in the limelight.  Maybe she needs to learn how to share it sometimes.  Or maybe it’s that she’s not the only one who is entitled to be Cleo, and for her to imagine how sad her friend would be if she were told she wasn’t allowed to be Cleo because it was your daughter’s idea first. Possibly a segue for teaching some empathy, non?

She’s disappointed…

For sure you need to acknowledge her disappointment.  Dismissing her feelings isn’t going to get you anywhere. On the same token she needs to understand that boycotting the soiree is not the option you are going to pursue, so you have to help her get past that.  Explain to her the definition a spoilsport, and explain how that’s not the way she wants people to think of her, especially when she’s so fantastic in so many ways.

The main lesson for your little Cleo to understand is that when things don’t go our way, the solution is not to stomp our feet and sulk in a corner, although I admit, it’s a tempting option in many cases.

I think she should go out there and be the best Monster High attendee she can possibly be.  We both know when she gets there, she will have a great time and this first grade drama will be a distant memory! Your job is to help her realize that…

Dharma

cleo

 

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4 Comments

  • anon1 says:

    sounds like a great opportunity for some life skills. kids these days are taught to throw tantrums when they don’t get their way, mainly by watching how their parents handle things. kids hardly even have to show up these days and they get gold medals.

    • Dharma says:

      Yup, those encouraging Generation Entitlement need to think about what they are contributing to our future state of existence…

      Thanks for your comment!

  • another Dad says:

    It’s always tough for a dad especially when he sees his little girl is sad, but I have to agree, on the Sadness scale, this one is pretty low and short-lived! This is a perfect opportunity to ask how she thinks her friend feels. Empathy has to be learned, and you are never too young to start learning that you should treat other people how you would want them to treat you.

    I am as far from religious as you can get, (I don’t quite throw rocks at the Mormons or JW’s when they come a-knockin’ but close) and I definitely don’t believe they have cornered the market on morals, but the “Golden Rule” is pretty darn close to a universal truth.

    (And before people start accusing me of hypocrisy, if I was knocking on peoples doors, asking if they had “heard the good news”, I would hope that someone would at least try to show me the errors of my ways.)

Whether you agree with Dharma or think she missed the mark on this one, leave a Comment!

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