Give Me a Ring Sometime

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Dear Dharma,

My new husband and I just got married a couple months ago and I am as happy as ever! My husband (I love saying that) was already hesitant on the fact that he had to wear a wedding ring. He doesn’t like things on his hands and he reacts to certain materials. Knowing this, we made sure that he wasn’t allergic to the silver.

He hasn’t been wearing it this past week because he says it annoys him. I am not worried about him taking it off for other motives as he is a very loyal guy. Never been worried about him cheating or anything… I just wish he would wear the ring and it really bothers me that he won’t suck it up and just wear it. He is not going to get used to it if he keeps taking it off!!

Can you give me some advice on how to approach this?

Ringless in Richmond

Dear Ringless,

Yes, I can give you some advice on how to approach this – and that would be to let this one go.

You knew in advance he was hesitant and that he doesn’t like things on his hands.  You’re not worried about his level of faithfulness and/or his motive for not wearing the ring.  So my advice is to not make this a hill to die on.

Let him know that you appreciate the fact that he tried, that it would mean a lot to you if he continued trying, but at the end of the day, you’ll understand if it just doesn’t work for him.  And, hey, who knows!  Once he’s not feeling pressured to wear the ring, and once the negative stigma around the topic has been removed, he might find himself wearing it more often.

Sometimes just letting people be who they are goes a long way in creating a peaceful environment. And a peaceful environment can bring about some lovely rings – I mean, things!

Dharma

 

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