To Give or Not to Give

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Dear Dharma, 

I just got a wedding invite from a friend in the mail today for me and my spouse to attend. We will have to hop on a short flight to go to the wedding so it’s already costing us a bit of money to attend.

I am unsure of the normal guidelines for wedding gifts are. I know that lots of couples register and just let people know where to get the gift.

Is gift giving mandatory in most circumstances? Do you think it would be valid in my circumstance too? We are already flying there and it’s costing us a lot. It’s always so awkward giving a gift off where the couple is registered. Now they know exactly how much you’ve spent on them!

I am just so confused on how this works!! I don’t want to look cheap and I don’t want to break the bank either.

Gift Giver – Or Not

Dear Gift Giver,

Dharma has some very good news for you that should put an end to your confusion, as there are so many other fantastic things for you to be confused about out there.  Like… how do cats always know when your black pants just got dry cleaned?  Or why women ask, “Does this make my butt look big?” and expect anything other than an immediate argument…right??

The Good News

Anyway, the good news is that there is no real guideline for wedding gifts, it’s really about what works for you.

In most cases, however, I would say yes, a gift is mandatory.  It’s kind of part of the tradition too, non? But it doesn’t need to break the bank, nor should it! Living within your means is an excellent rule of thumb across the board, and this is no exception.

Think of it as a token to honour the occasion.  Choose your budget, assess everything you need to spend to attend, and just go with that… There’s no shame in setting boundaries for yourself here.

Also, try thinking of the registry as your friend, a helping hand as opposed to a money tracking device.  Lots of times people are stymied as to what to buy the happy couple, and this handily solves that dilemma.  It’s no longer a shot in the dark whether they want that toaster or not, they’ve flat out said they do!

Choose your gift, book your flight, and go have a great time doing the bird dance!  Oooh, and the Macarena…

Dharma

 

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