Fish in the Ocean



Dear Dharma,

I’ve delved into the online dating world and it has proven that not everything is as it seems.

I’m all for beefing up one’s profile and using the most flattering angle for your picture – we’re all there to meet someone and make our profile stand out from the hundreds of others but I feel like I’ve been duped.

I agreed to meet someone in person after I believed we had a lot in common. Turns out, he was nothing like his profile. Picture wise he was the same person but when we talked, it’s like someone else wrote his profile.

Do you think I should give him a chance? Should I ask him if someone else wrote his profile? I don’t know what to do.

One of the Fish

Dear Fish,

From what Dharma’s been told, the fact that he actually was the guy in the picture seems like a bonus.  Sad, right?

So… if you weren’t mentally comparing him to your expectations based the knowledge you gleaned before meeting him in person, would you have liked him?

The answer to that question determines Dharma’s answer to your question…

In one scenario, he came off as likable, but different than you expected.  You were turned off because he potentially brushed up his profile to hit a wider audience, but overall still had some things in common and the date was not a total bust.

With the other scenario, he’s nothing like his profile, you had absolutely nothing in common and he was a big jerk to boot.

The latter, well, that’s easy, right?  No second chances required.

However, if the first option is a more accurate summation, theeeeeen… Dharma’s going to rule in the favour of Cupid.  Or at least someone who says he’s Cupid, but the picture’s a bit sketchy…

This guy’s biggest offence (so far) could just be that he’s trying too hard to make a good first impression.  A bit like lying on your resume, though – the inflated version might get you the interview, but it’s not going to land you the job… So I don’t know how well he thought things through, which may be another strike against him.

In either case, I would not ask him if someone else wrote his profile.  Nothing to be gained there, other than an awkward conversation regardless of his answer…



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