Sandwich Maker



Dear Dharma, 

I am a married man, 26, with a steady job working in construction.  My company is very busy and I get plenty of overtime, which means some nice paychecks, but also some long days and weeks.  My wife works too, part time 3 days a week, and we don’t have kids yet but they are in the future plan!

Here’s my question, how can I ask my wife to make my lunch on the days she doesn’t work?  I make my own lunch now, but honestly some days I eat a sandwich bag of Cheerios and a can of sardines.  I’m just so tired when I get home, lunch is like the last thing I want to think about.

I am not thinking she should be like a Happy Homemaker from the 1950s, but it would be nice to have a ready-made lunch a day or 2 a week.

Is there a way to bring it up without sounding like Fred Flintstone?

I Just Want a Sandwich

Dear Sandwich,

Wow – Cheerios and sardines.  Now there’s a lunch of champions!

I think there are a few ways you can handle this that shouldn’t get you smacked with a frying pan.

In healthy relationships, teamwork is key.  You play to everyone’s strengths in order to get everything done with enough time to still enjoy life and some time together.

Clearly, getting a decent lunch made is not your strong suit right now, so maybe suggest a trade-off… on the days she has a bit of extra time, she makes your lunch in exchange for you taking over one of her regular chores.  That way you don’t feel you’re taking advantage of her, or plunging her into the days of Bedrock.

Or what if you turn this into a project you both do together?  How about on Sundays you spend some time together cooking a batch of chili and a pot of spaghetti and pre-make your lunches for the week?  I know it’s a bit time consuming, but it could be a fun thing if done properly.

If for whatever reason you come up against resistance on either of these choices, may I suggest you purchase your lunch with all the overtime cash you’re bringing home?  It may not be the most economical choice, but come on – a guy can only go through so many cans of sardines, right?



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