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Dear Dharma, 

I have this one friend who is notorious for not checking her voicemail’s and ignoring text messages. It drives me nuts!! I understand people are busy but all it takes a simple acknowledgment that they received it. I’m even good with a day later.

It’s especially annoying when I have an actual question and need a response. Like… “What food am I in charge of for the party? I’m going shopping tonight.” Then a few days later I get a reply when it’s too late.

I feel like I’m not a priority in her life. I’m a busy person too but I will at least acknowledge the person and when need be I will answer a message as fast as I can if a quick response is needed.

What should I say to her? I don’t want to offend her or sound like a needy friend.

Feeling Blown Off

Dear Blown Off,

For the life of me I can’t remember what I was recently listening to but it was a recorded message saying, “Hi, you’ve reached so and so.  Don’t leave a message because it’s not 1990.  Thanks!”  Beeeep.

I LOL’d hard, because I didn’t even realize that’s how I felt about voice mail until I heard that.  I’ll admit, I’m so guilty of ignoring the little red light on my phone… It’s like I just can’t bring myself to take that one extra step of dialing in.  I’m not saying that’s the right attitude to have, but perhaps your friend subscribes to the same lame train of thought as Dharma does.

Texts and emails are so much easier to respond to.  BAM, there they are, right on that tiny screen we have glued to our faces most of the time.  So while I might look the other way at “missed” voice mails, there’s no excuse for not acknowledging a text, especially if an answer is required in a timely manner.

We had a question similar to this somewhat recently, so take a look at The Age of Technology to see the best way to deal with your friend.

If addressing her directly and calmly doesn’t get you the results you are looking for, my advice would be to take charge and make decisions yourself in absence of her response.

You ask what food she would like you to bring to the party and get no answer?  Make the call yourself, and bring whatever you like!  If she doesn’t like chicken wings and sushi, too bad!  She had the opportunity to weigh in, but chose not to.

With this approach, it allows you to take control of the situations around you instead of playing victim to flaky people and you can move forward without being reliant on others.  You’ll be surprised at the amount of peacefulness this will bring  you, this whole taking control of your own destiny , I promise…

But wait!  There’s more!!

Now that you’ve read Dharma’s answer, you need to go and check out Dave & Kat to see what they said about this exact same question!

Dharma, Dave & Kat are having a little fun together this week, so all Q & A’s will be addressed in both forums.

Did they say the same thing as Dharma, or did they take things in a completely different direction?  You won’t know until you know, so click here to listen!



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