Putting the Fun in the Funeral

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Dear Dharma,

I really need your help.  My grandfather was my idol.  He was adventurous, loved to travel, always quick with a smile or a joke and instigated more than his fair share of practical jokes – he loved life and never took himself too seriously.

He recently passed and one of his last wishes was for me to be in charge of his funeral – complete with a list of songs, poems and riddles he wanted.  But the ultimate last wish, that I am so struggling with, is that he wants strippers to perform as he’s carried away!

Really, STRIPPERS??  I cannot, can I?  I am so torn between what is right and proper and what he’s asking me.  Or was it all a part of some crazy, final practical joke?

Please help…

Foxy at the Funeral?

Dear Foxy,

I’m really very sorry for your loss, but I have to say this might be my new favourite question of the year.

It sounds like your grandfather was quite the character.  You’ll never know if this was his last practical joke as he crossed over to the other side unless he let someone else in the family in on it, so let’s not spend too much time trying to second guess the sincerity of the request.

If the funeral is to take place in a church, your problems are solved.  I honestly don’t think they let strippers perform in a place of God… do they?  Oh please, someone weigh in on this… Wait – I’m going to go Google…

Okay – so it looks like it’s no problem for a stripper to attend church as part of a congregation but it’s pretty clear that everyone has to keep their clothes on.  So you’re good there.

However, if the funeral is a less secular event, then that particular loophole no longer applies.  Drats, right?

Bottom Line

Okay, bottom line – no.  You don’t have to hire strippers for your grandfather’s funeral.  It simply isn’t appropriate and I have to imagine that at least half of those attending would be in agreement.

I’m guessing a good portion of the folks will be up there in years and really – can you imagine?  Here they are, honouring their recently deceased friend and suddenly poles drop down from the ceiling with Candy and Delilah hanging off them?  You’d need to have a medic on standby, that’s for sure…

Funny to imagine, but likely less entertaining in real life than one would think.

If you feel you have to do something to honour your grandfather’s last request and the service is not in a church, you could consider hiring a tasteful but sassy, burlesque-style entertainer.  That would hit the mark of what he wanted without being terribly offensive, and you’d feel like you did your part.

But if you did nothing at all in that vein, you’d still be in the good books, I promise.

Dharma

 

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