Not So Black and White

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Dear Dharma,

I’ve been dating my girlfriend for about 4 months now.  Last weekend we attended a friend’s birthday BBQ and she met a lot of my peeps for the first time.

Ever since then, she’s been making various comments about one friend in particular – my friend from India.  The comments are bordering on racist and they really don’t sit well with me.

I’m not sure if I should say something?  Ignore it and hope it’s just a one-time thing?

Bob Marley

Dear Bob,

In dealing with only the two questions you brought forward, we would have a very short Q&A session today.

Yes, you should say something.  No, you shouldn’t ignore it.

Since Dharma’s never been accused of being short on words, of course we’re going to take it further.

First of all, it’s already not been a one-time thing, since she’s been making various comments.  Secondly, allowing racism to occur through silent acceptance is almost as bad as the act itself.

How about, “It makes me very uncomfortable when you say things like that, and I’m concerned about how we take this relationship forward knowing you feel that way.”  And see where the conversation goes from there.

Because honestly?  Where that conversation goes should tell you everything you need to know about your girlfriend of 4 months.  I remind you of the brevity of this relationship just in case her answers don’t work for you and you think for some reason you should stay with her.

Standing up to racism is so important, especially as we watch the hard fought progress against it slip through our fingers on a daily basis. Don’t be afraid to do the right thing in a world sliding sideways.

 

But wait!  There’s more!!

Now that you’ve read Dharma’s answer, you need to go and check out Dave & Kat to see what they said about this exact same question!

Dharma, Dave & Kat are having a little fun together this week, so all Q & A’s will be addressed in both forums.

What did they have to say about this one – are they on the same page as Dharma?  You won’t know until you have a listen, so click here now!

Dharma

 

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