When Your Friend Talks Trash About Women

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Dear Dharma,

This is a difficult one. A friend of mine that I’ve known for a long time is behaving in a way that I don’t approve of.  Before I get accused of sounding too judgmental I’ll let you know what this behaviour is.

He does not treat women well. I’m fairly certain he believes they are the inferior sex with what I’ve seen and how he talks about his conquests.

Maybe I’m growing up or maybe it’s because of the recent attention in the media… you can’t turn on the TV or listen to the radio without hearing something about someone disrespecting or abusing women somehow.  I don’t think I can be around him anymore if he chooses to continue on like this.

I hear the B and H term entirely too much during conversations. Do I confront him about it? If so, how?

Can’t Take It Anymore

Dear Can’t Take It,

Okay – so I’ll admit it. I didn’t know – I didn’t know what the B and H term meant. I had to use the Google.  And it didn’t even come up right at the top (which made me feel better!) so I had to creep around and figure it out all on my own. Which I did – thank you, Google Search!

Bitches and Hos, although I’m sure all my savvy readers already knew this.  No matter, you can say you did without having to go through the whole search process.

The way you talk about women makes me uncomfortable.

There’s your starting point the next time you are with this friend and he starts spouting off.

Be prepared for him to brush you off.  After all, if you’re a woman, it’s a possibility, right?

However, I love the thought that you may be a guy who’s realizing his friend is a douche bag.  We women, we live with this crap all the time. I don’t know that a lot of men recognize that… so when they do, it’s fantastic!  Because men recognizing this is fundamental in making this kind of behavior  stop!

Anyway, brushed off or not, stand your ground, reiterate that it makes you uncomfortable and see what the reaction is.  That in itself will tell you all you need to know and will definitely help you determine if you want to continue with this friendship.

If you can’t take it, you can’t take it – and there ain’t nothing wrong with that.

Dharma

 

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