Indecent Proposal

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Dear Dharma,

My boss at work won’t stop harassing me sexually.

I got my dream job as a sales rep in one of the top-rated companies in my area.  I enjoy my work at the company and my life in general. However, this peace of mind has been cut short by the new head of department in my company who has made it his personal duty of making life miserable for me by making it clear that I would be out of a job if I don’t become his mistress!

He won’t stop coming by my office and giving me special favors and now everyone thinks I’m in a relationship with him and for the record I am not!

I despise office relationships like the plague and I heard that he is a married man.  I’ve tried reporting him to other superiors in my department but it’s almost as if they are all out to get me.

I love my job and I can’t bear the thought of losing it, but I can’t give my boss what he wants either!

I am in a big mess and I don’t know how to get out of it. Should I just go ahead and date this man at the expense of my integrity or give up my great job?!

Working for Weinstein

Dear WW,

Not sure if we could get any more topical than this, what with everything going on in the world today.  You can’t open a webpage without seeing story upon story about giant moguls toppling due to the exposure of sexual abuse and abuse of power, which really, can only go hand in hand.

Let’s just start with your main question – should you just go ahead and date this creep at the expense of your integrity?  Well, let me ask you a question.  If you had a daughter, and she came to you with that very question, what would you say?

You know what you’d say, so let’s just shut that crap down right now.

And as a side note?  He isn’t looking to “date” you.

Any top-rated company should have an HR department, so stop going to other superiors and take this problem where it needs to go.  And seriously, right now you’ve got the whole world on your side, so use that to your advantage.  No company wants to get wrapped up in this floodgate if they can avoid it, so give them the opportunity to side step a potential lawsuit.

And stop – immediately – accepting any of his “special favors”… if in fact you have accepted any of them.  And start – immediately – documenting everything you can about his behavior.  Putting things like this in writing is a powerful tool and will definitely go towards building your case.

Hundreds of brave women have been stepping forward each and every day in effort to pave the way for other brave women to come forward themselves and expose these types of predators.  Don’t let what they are accomplishing go to waste.

And don’t think that a) you are the only person this guy has done this to and b) that there aren’t other great jobs out there where you don’t have to consider getting naked with the boss.

Dharma

 

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4 Comments

  • Jewel says:

    Agree! Finding a way to use your voice is so Powerful! Taking control of what you can control on your own terms is the way to go when you can.

    • Dharma says:

      Absolutely. And this is such a powerful topic right now, which the LW just has to use to her advantage to help grind this type of behaviour to a halt. Thanks for your comment, Jewel!

  • Yikes… Not a good situation to be in. 🙁
    Hope your HR department can sort it out, and let’s also hope the culture is changing so this sort of thing happens less and less.

    • Dharma says:

      I think the major spotlight that is currently on this topic will go a long way in changing the culture… Literally, everyday has yet someone else stepping down from major companies and corporations due to this kind of behaviour. The floodgates have seemingly opened, and now we just hope that the momentum carries it far enough to make some permanent changes… Thanks for your comment, Suzie…

Whether you agree with Dharma or think she missed the mark on this one, leave a Comment!

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