She’s Experimental… Him, Not So Much

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Dear Dharma,

I’m the type of girl who loves to experiment and explore things a lot… It’s safe to say I am quite adventurous!

There is this guy I’m seeing who’s really cute, loving, caring and I think he’s the real deal but the thing with him is that he’s too safe with me!

He seems to think that I’m a fragile doll and won’t stretch the limits while we are in the sack. Yes, he’s oh so loving but sex between us isn’t all that great because he isn’t willing to go further with me. He goes gentle all the time and I am fed up with it!

How can I make him treat me more like a woman with serious sexual needs rather than a porcelain creature he has to hold gently?!  I really love him a lot, in fact I see us having a future together but the only stumbling block I see on the road to my fulfillment as a woman is our sex life!

I’d appreciate it if I could get tips on how to make him more intense and adventurous in the bedroom and also aware of my sexual desires.

Bored in Bed

Dear Bored,

Well, this is a fun one to close off with before the Christmas holidays, so thanks for sending this in!

And what’s also fun is that I can pretty much give you the same advice I gave Scrooge yesterday.

Guy’s not a mind reader, so ask of him what you want, and you may be pleasantly surprised.  Simply complaining about it will only get you the same results…

Uncanny that this piece of advice works all over the place, right?  With your partner, with your family… pretty much anywhere.  Which really, this speaks to the larger issue of communication, doesn’t it…

We often expect people to know exactly what we want, when we want it, how we want it. Yet we take no accountability in communicating our needs, and seldom give the benefit of the doubt that the other party would have stepped up in whatever way, if only they had known.

So talk to your boyfriend! Tell him what you like. Show him!  Give him the chance to take things to the next level by giving him the information he needs – that’s the best tip I can possibly give you.

Like I said to Scrooge, don’t let a pebble turn into a boulder.

Just whatever you do, don’t make him feel like he’s failing you in any way… Trust me when I say that won’t take you anywhere good at all.

Dharma

p.s. don’t forget about Dharma’s draw for a $25 Starbucks card!

 

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