She Wants Money for Her Wedding – Her Third Wedding



Dear Dharma,

First I just want to say I love your column… You are just fabulous!

I just got engaged, and am planning a destination wedding in Jamaica next Christmas.  As a modern lady, I am expecting both sets of parents to kick in, but my fiancé thinks that since this is my 3rd wedding his parents might not agree.

Any suggestions on how to approach them?  I’m sure my parents will be more than happy to pitch in…

Third Time’s a Charm

Dear Charm,

Oh ugh.

Okay, first of all, let me say thank you.  Thanks for thinking Dharma is fabulous.  And thank you for the opportunity to lay into someone, anyone, right out the gate in this first week of this New Year.

I guarantee everyone who read this question said “WTF!!” quite loudly when you referred to yourself as both “modern” and a “lady” in the same breath.  And I’m right there with them, and more than happy to challenge you on both of those choices.

There’s nothing “modern” about expecting your parents to pay for your wedding, be it your first or your twenty-first time down the aisle.

And a true “lady” would rather die than come off sounding as entitled and presumptuous as you have succeeded in doing in a mere 63 words.

So no.  I have absolutely no suggestions on how to approach either sets of parents on this topic.  My advice is actually just… don’t.

Instead, maybe you could take the time to evaluate what kind of person would expect everyone else to continue to financially back their bad decisions.  With no qualms, no self-reliance and certainly no pride.

And I might suggest your fiancé asks himself the same question before he takes the proverbial plunge and ends up the precursor to groom number four.

Still think Dharma’s so fantastic?



Got a question for Dharma? She’s probably got an answer!

To submit a question anonymously, just make up a name and email – it doesn’t have to be real, as long as the fields are populated.

And be sure to follow Dharma everywhere!


Instagram too!

And of course, Twitter…

Oooh, and now on Pinterest!


For more of Dharma’s great advice, click here!


  • aghast says:

    I cannot believe this letter. Did someone actually write this?? How utterly absurd! I cannot believe this person’s sense of entitlement. I think your advice to the little princess was spot on. I’m going to take a stab at this and assume she must be at least in her 30s, unless she’s ripping through marriage certificates like they’re toilet paper. Which in my mindset adds another dimension. By the time someone is 30 they can darn well assume their own wedding expenses. And I will add another comment… if her parents are up to the sport they’re not only enabling her but likely well off.

    • Dharma says:

      Hey there Aghast – yes indeed, someone actually wrote this… And I agree that her parents are TOTALLY enabling this behaviour – and are likely the ones who actually paved the way for this type of thinking…

      Thanks for your comment!

  • MJ says:

    I can’t help but laugh at this one! This “modern lady” is a joke! Pay for your own damn wedding! I don’t think anyone should ever expect their parents to pay for their wedding…further more their THIRD wedding…and the nerve to have a destination wedding?? Holy selfishness Batman! Get over yourself and grow up! “modern lady” SMH

Whether you agree with Dharma or think she missed the mark on this one, leave a Comment!

%d bloggers like this: