Too Soon for the Invites?



Dear Dharma,

You have some great advice! I love your blog and have noticed you have given some great wedding advice too.

I am in a little bit of a panic, as I am getting married this June and I’m getting so many mixed signals of when to send out invites.

When is too early and too late? It has been made very clear to me that it is “rude” to send out invites too early, but I want to give people lots of notice as we are not getting married in town. Not overseas or anything but I thought it would be nice to give people notice and to book it off work.

I haven’t been to very many weddings and I don’t know the protocol. Everyone is always so opinionated when it comes to this kind of stuff. When do you think is an appropriate time to send out wedding invitations?

Tying the Knot

Dear Knot,

I’m sure I just did the same thing you have already done, which was to turn to my good friend The Google.

I checked out quite a few sites, you know, just to establish some consistency and it seems 8 weeks is fairly standard… but more for a destination wedding…  It sounds like your festivities are somewhere in between, so maybe aim for 12 weeks out?

However, you know your crowd better than The Google, so feel free to make a bit of judgement call if you think there are folks in your group who would require even more notice than that.

And in regards to those who think giving too much notice is “rude”…?  Blah.  More communication is always better than less, so I wouldn’t worry too much about it.  People’s calendars are booked months and months in advance these days, and the more info we have to navigate through the logistics of life, the easier it is for everyone.

Congratulations on your upcoming nuptials, and hoping it all goes as smoothly as possible!



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  • Julia says:

    I have a big book of wedding organization that I picked up from the local book store for $30 that gave me a timeline for when to send things out.
    It said six months for wedding invites if you don’t send a save the date.
    Google maybe more up to date though…

    • Dharma says:

      Yeah – I really don’t think 6 months is out of line… again, people’s calendars are CRAZY these days, so the more notice the better is my way of thinking!

      Thanks for the comment, Julia!

  • When my husband and I were engaged people wouldn’t stop asking us about “the date” until we sent the Save the Dates so they went out pretty early! Also for what it’s worth, I’ve never heard people call it “rude” to send out invitations “too early”. The only drawback I see is that people may forget and you’ll have to track them down for an RSVP, but you may have to anyway.

    • Dharma says:

      Ha, that’s definitely a good reason to send out a Save the Date, just to make people stop asking! And I agree, you’re likely going to have to track down people regardless, so either way, I’d vote for more communication over less.

      Thanks for your comment!

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