Living Off the Grid

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Dear Dharma,

I love my husband’s spontaneity but it’s come back to bite me in the butt in a big way.

We’ve been a bit…spontaneous in our spending, going on last minute travel adventures and buying things that were cool but that we really didn’t need.

Of course, now we are in debt. It’s bad but at this point we can pull ourselves out with a budget and a few years of being really disciplined with our spending.

Hubby has other ideas. His plan is to sell our home and move me and our two sons into a tiny house. Then he wants to quit his job, live off the land and basically homestead, free of responsibility and bills and debt.

I’m not on board! Yes, living frugally to get out of debt won’t be fun but moving from the suburbs to live in an off-the-grid shack with all of us cooped up together in a tiny space and no income coming in is not a solution!

How do I get my extreme husband to get in line with what’s actually best for the whole family?

Yours Truly,

Not Going Tiny

Dear Tiny,

I’m not gonna lie, Tiny.  The thought of living off-the-grid, preferably in a commune kind of situation (minus all the sexual weirdness… or not… whatever) appeals to me, it always has.  However, I recognize it’s not for everyone… Mr. Dharma included.  He frowns at the whole communal living concept.

Anyway, I’d invite you to completely reframe this situation before we tackle your question at hand, and ask you to put some thought into considering why you guys are living your lives in a pendulum swing.

Swoosh – on one side, we have this lavish lifestyle, complete with travelling all over the place and buying all the latest cool doodads.  Swoosh back the other way and we’ve got a total Little House on the Prairie situation (which, of course, I’ve only ever seen in reruns).

What’s with that? Because there’s the problem you first need to solve.  In fact, it’s the only problem you need to solve.  Because once you figure out how to create some balance in your lives, and that of your children, living in the off-the-grid shack falls off the table.

Some balance and some stability.  Dharma doesn’t need a degree in pop psychology to know that kids need that.  And your husband shouldn’t either.

So focus on the need for the pendulum effect and see where that takes you… which hopefully isn’t to Walnut Grove.

For anyone under 20 years of age, apologies for the reference that just blew your hair all over the place.

Dharma

 

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